How to make a budget UK couples can both stick to

If you're working out how to make a budget UK couples can both live with, the short version is this: add up what you each take home, list every bill and regular cost the household has, add the yearly costs as a monthly amount, agree which costs are shared and how, give each of you some personal spending money, and decide what's left for saving. Write it down somewhere you can both see, then check it together for twenty minutes once a month. The numbers matter, but the part that makes a couple's budget work is agreeing the rules before the money moves.

This guide walks through it in order, with the conversations to have along the way and the things couples most often trip over.

Before the numbers: agree what the budget is for

A budget built by one person and handed to the other rarely lasts. Start with a short chat, away from bank apps, about what you both want it to do. A few questions help:

• What's worrying either of you about money right now?
• What do you want to be able to do in a year: a holiday, a deposit, a wedding, a cushion for emergencies?
• What does each of you think counts as "shared"?
• How much would each of you like to spend without having to explain it?

You don't need to agree on everything at once. You just need to know where you each stand, so the budget is built around both of you rather than whoever cares most about spreadsheets.

How to make a budget UK couples can follow, step by step

Step 1: add up take-home pay

Use what actually lands in each account, after income tax, National Insurance, pension contributions and anything else taken off at source, not the salary on the contract. Look at your last two or three payslips. If either of you has pay that changes month to month (overtime, shifts, commission or self-employment), use a cautious figure based on a lower month rather than an average.

Add any other regular money coming in, such as benefits or regular income from a second job.

Step 2: list the household's fixed costs

These are the bills that come out on schedule:

• Rent or mortgage
• Council tax
• Energy, water and broadband
• TV Licence, if you need one
• Home insurance
• Phones and subscriptions
• Car costs, travel passes and any loan or credit repayments

For each one, note the amount, the date it goes out and which account pays it. If you haven't got a shared list of bills yet, how to keep track of household bills sets one up properly.

Step 3: add the yearly and irregular costs

This is where most budgets fall over. The costs that don't come every month still come. Make a list, estimate each one for the year and divide by 12:

• Car MOT, servicing and insurance renewal
• Christmas and birthdays (two families' worth)
• Holidays
• Annual subscriptions and memberships
• Boiler service, home repairs and replacing things that break
• Clothes, haircuts, glasses and dentist visits
• Gifts for weddings, leaving dos and new babies

Putting that monthly amount aside, ideally in a separate savings pot, turns a nasty surprise into a planned bill.

Step 4: look at what you really spend

Fixed bills are the easy part. The day to day spending on food, eating out, transport and small treats is where budgets drift. Go through the last two or three months of both your statements and sort spending into a handful of groups. Keep the groups simple: food shopping, eating out and takeaways, travel, household bits, personal spending, and other.

Don't use this to score points. You're both finding out what normal looks like, not auditing each other.

Step 5: decide yours, mine and ours

Couples handle money in lots of ways, and none of them is the right one. The common set ups are:

• Everything joint. All income into one account, all spending from it. Simple to see, but needs a lot of trust and similar habits.
• Shared bills, separate everything else. Each of you pays an agreed amount into a joint account on payday. Bills and shared costs come out of it. What's left in your own account is yours.
• Split by bill. One of you pays some bills, the other pays the rest. Simple, but it can drift out of balance as prices change.

Then decide how to split the shared amount: fifty fifty, or in proportion to what each of you earns. Many couples with different incomes find the proportional approach feels fairer. Write down what you agree.

Step 6: give each of you personal money

Set an amount each of you can spend on whatever you like, with no questions. It doesn't need to be the same for both of you, but it does need to be agreed. This is the single most useful line in a couple's budget, because it stops small purchases becoming big arguments.

Step 7: decide what's left for saving

Take the shared costs, the yearly pot and both personal amounts away from your combined take-home pay. What remains is for saving or paying down debt. If the number is negative, the budget is telling you something useful early, and the next section covers what to do. If you'd like a simple framework for the split, the 50 30 20 budget rule is a common starting point.

If the numbers don't add up

It happens, especially after moving in together or when prices go up. Work through it together:

1. Check the yearly pot isn't double counted with something already in your bills.
2. Look at the day to day groups for the biggest one that could shrink a little.
3. Review subscriptions and contracts that are due to end, and whether you both need everything.
4. Revisit personal amounts together, rather than one of you quietly cutting back.
5. Get help early if it's more than a squeeze. MoneyHelper offers free, impartial guidance on budgeting and debt, and has a budget planner you can work through together.

This guide is general budgeting know-how, not financial advice.

The monthly money chat

A budget you set once and never look at is just a wish. Once a month, soon after you've both been paid, sit down for twenty minutes:

1. Did the shared account cover everything?
2. Did anything cost more than expected?
3. What's coming up next month: a birthday, a renewal, a trip?
4. How are the savings pots doing?
5. Does anything need changing?

Keep it short and keep it practical. Once or twice a year, have a longer look: new jobs, pay rises, a move, a baby or a car all change the shape of a budget.

Common sticking points for couples

• One person does all the admin. Share it out, or at least make sure both of you could run the budget if the other was away.
• Different ideas of "necessary". That's what personal money is for.
• Forgetting the yearly costs. Christmas comes in December every year; budget for it in March.
• Only talking about money when something goes wrong. The monthly chat makes money a normal topic.
• Not writing it down. An agreement nobody remembers isn't an agreement.

Keeping it in mylife/

In mylife/ you can set a budget and log what you spend, either by adding it or by telling Slash in a sentence. mylife/ doesn't connect to your bank, so spending is logged by you. Bills and subscriptions count towards a monthly total of what you're really paying. You can see how the five tabs work or try mylife/ free for 3 days.

Frequently asked questions

How do couples make a budget together?

Start by agreeing what you want the budget to do, then add up both take-home pays, list your bills and yearly costs, and decide which costs are shared and how you'll split them. Give each of you some personal money, agree what's left for saving, and check it together once a month.

Should couples have a joint account for bills?

Many couples find a joint account for shared bills makes things easier to see and check, with each person paying in an agreed amount on payday. Others prefer to split bills between their own accounts. It's a personal choice; what matters is that you both agree and understand it.

How should couples split money if one earns more?

Some couples split shared costs fifty fifty, while others pay in proportion to what each of them earns, which many find fairer when incomes are uneven. There's no right answer. Agree the approach together and look at it again when either income changes.

Where can couples get free help with a budget in the UK?

MoneyHelper offers free, impartial guidance on budgeting and money worries, including a budget planner. If you're behind on bills or worried about debt, contact the companies involved early and look at MoneyHelper's guidance.